Tag Archives: success

How can I do what I don’t know how?

One of the most frustrating things is to be expected to do something that you were never taught how! Imagine how your child feels when you expect them to make good life decisions! Just because your child turns 18, they don’t magically become wise or mature! That starts 17 years earlier!

The children and young adults of today feel lots of pressure because of the many expectations and requirements put on them by many who call themselves adults. They are expected to know things, understand things, and behave a certain way, but were never taught how to do any of those things. Too often the responsibility of the parent has been transferred to the child. I have listened to too many stories about children being expected to take care of their younger siblings because the parents are parenting. Even worse they don’t give the older child (as young 7 years old) any resources to make it happen! Many are too young to drive. They aren’t left with food or money to buy any. These stories are not confined to just one group of people, they cross ever religion, nationality and country.

Often times the parent wants to be their child friend and not their parent. Can you image how the child must feel. Because the parent feels they missed some of their childhood and it’s O.K. to take it from their children! When there is a history of teenage pregnancy you may even see a grand parent trying to party with the child. Can you image how embarrassing it would be if your parent or grand parent is trying to date your friend!!

I hear the voices of many parents crying out that it’s difficult to try to work and raise a child! I don’t have any “me time”. Since when did “me time” become more important than “he/she or their time”. I hear other parents saying “No one… for me”. My response to that is then you know how it felt and you most certainly don’t want to repeat the mistakes of your parents. There are two words that is often misused and misunderstood and they are called “sacrifice and maturity“. Neither of these words can be partially done. They can only be done completely or not at all.

I understand this is a touchy subject. But, I believe you can handle it, because you are an adult. I feel it is necessary to sometimes give voice to voiceless. If the children were to say these things we may not pay attention, or tell them they are lazy. I say will say this “Our children did not ask to be here. We decided by our actions.”  Therefore, as it is written in scriptures. “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” (I Cor. 13:11 NIV) , it is necessary to be adults our children desire and need.

How do we do this? Simple. Take full responsibility in guiding, guarding, and governing them. If you don’t understand how to do those things seek help. Not from the television but from some who is doing it or has done it. You have seen children that are well-mannered. Talk to their parents. Send me an email or post. They worse thing we can do is to do nothing. The lives of our children are at stake. Those of you who don’t have children, the children of everyone else will be controlling the world you live in. Remember no one person is born with all the answers.

Here is my final nugget to help you help them. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Matt 7:7 NIV). Don’t let fear or ego destroy your child. The information, teaching, training and support is out there. The mouth that is open gets feed.

If this blog has helped you in any way please leave me a comment. Thank you.

Until next time:

Keep Fighting the B.E.A.R.
Dewong Lucas, Sr.
Hunter@FightingTheBear.com

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Life is not a WADING pool. I’ts an OCEAN of endless Possibilities!

My Thought: Life is not a WADING pool. It’s an OCEAN of endless possibilities. Since there may be sharks, you must jump in and swim for your life!

You may sometimes get to relax and get carried by the currents going where you want to go. Other times, you must swim to break free of those currents taking you away from your destination. Remember, the only thing you are racing against is time. Be aware of how you use it and never abuse it. If you do, you could be headed into a perfect storm.

As you swim to your destiny, it’s Ok to stop by the occasional island to take a rest and enjoy the vegetation and the view.

May the winds of change always blow towards your destination.

If this blog has helped you in any way please leave me a comment. Thanks.

Until next time:

Keep Fighting the B.E.A.R.
Dewong Lucas, Sr.
Hunter@FightingTheBear.com
www.FightingTheBear.com

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The Journey of 1000 miles begins with Wearing the Right Shoes!

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The journey of 1000 miles begins with wearing the right shoes! This is my personal modification of the Chinese Philosopher Lao Tzu’s quote “The Journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” My modification deals with what you must do before you take the first step. The preparation for that step. Not having the right shoes can cause the most pleasant journey very painful. There have been many great journeys that did not end at the intended destination. They did not reach the destination or they ended up in a completely different place.

Before you take that first step it is important to plan and prepare for a successful trip. Many people set out on journeys without a clear picture of where they want to go or a clue of how to get there.

This is the time of the year when people prepare for the coming year. It is import to set goals for the future, but it is also important to examine the distance you have traveled so far. Remember every journey has two points. It has a destination and an origin. If you don’t spend time to understand where you are, how do you know which direction you must go?

I will not go into details about the emotional and psychological processes necessary. I will only deal with the mechanics of the process. The entire process can be captured within the understanding of how a map works. If we were to travel from Los Angeles, California to New York City there are many options to getting there. These options include methods of travel (walk, cycle, car, bus, air plane) and routes (northern, southern, eastern, or western) to get there.

There are two very important steps regardless of the method of travel or route that must be done first. The first step is to determine where you are and second is where you want to go. Once these two steps are done they will influence every other process.

Where you are:
You must know your starting point.

  1. Physically (location, health, strength, attributes)
  2. Emotional (stressed, anger, depressed)
  3. Intellectually (knowledge, Understanding)
  4. Skills (training, experience)
  5. Behaviorally (introvert, extrovert, self-starter, procrastinator)
  6. Relationally (single, married, children, friends, loner)

Where do you want to go:
You must know your destination.

  1. Physically- If you desire to lose weight or gain weight, how much and by when. If you desire to get healthy, what does that mean? Does it mean you can walk/run further or faster, lower blood pressure, able to lift a certain amount of weight? Get more/better sleep? Needing less medication.
  2. Emotionally- How do you know when stress is reduced or gone? How do you know when someone loves you? How do you know when you are in love? What brings you joy? What brings you happiness? (They are not the same!)
  3. Intellectually – What type of degree do you want? Which language do you want to learn? Will you learn on-line or in a classroom?
  4. Skills – What instrument do you want to learn? What type of painting or drawing you want to learn to do? What type of home remodeling or repair you would like to learn. What type of self-defense you what to learn? How fast do you want to be able to read? What type of public speaking do you want to do?
  5. Behavioral – How early do you need to get up? How late do you need to stay up? How far do you need to drive? How long do need to study or practice? What type of exercise do you need to do and how often do you need to do it? What types of food do you need to eat?
  6. Relationships – What new relations must you develop? How do you establish them? What existing relationships will be impacted and by how much? Will you have to rely on someone else as you travel your journey? Will you need sponsors to finance you or guides to show you the way?

I hope this so far has help you. In my next blog I will discuss, what will you take,  what do you need to leave behind, and understanding the signs along the way.

If this blog has helped you in any way please leave me a comment. Thanks.

Until next time:
Keep Fighting the B.E.A.R.
Dewong Lucas, Sr.
Hunter@FightingTheBear.com
www.FightingTheBear.com

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